yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
