If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
