Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
home. puking in laundry basket.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
