As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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