I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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