Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
