Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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