It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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