I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize