That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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