Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
