the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
