when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
