no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
