Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
