you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize