I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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