Pants 0. Shit 1.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
