I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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