I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
