I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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