so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize