so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
