perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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