I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
