he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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