i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
