I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i love accidental penises.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
