come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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