Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
