I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
