Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
