did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
