come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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