I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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