I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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