Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
