we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
