Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
