U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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