Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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