im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
