i barfeds in our rink
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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