if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
