i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
