is your mom at the bar?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
