C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
