you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
