and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
