So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
