WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
