maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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