seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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