I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
