Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
