You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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