Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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