I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
